First Impressions are only the first impression!

"You only get one chance to make a good impression", fair enough of a comment, but really doesn't mean much.  I have a new friend Ruben. We met thru a mutual friend and the gigantic personality of Monique, not the black Oscar winning Mo'nique, this Monique is the  Latina Comedy Diva and very funny and insightful friend.  I was in Monique's hotel room when Ruben came in to join us for dinner.  We had a glass of wine before we left for dinner. I thought Ruben was the gay man's answer to Nicole Kidman.  I found him to be stiff, pretentious, and standoff-ish, a complete and unadulterated blow hard was my initial diagnosis.   My response? Like you do to warts, to freeze  him out.  I know you don't think Cubans can issue a deep freeze but trust me this Cuban can drop temperatures faster than liquid Nitrogen.

The next day, Monique asked me to join her and Ruben for coffee at the hotel terrace.  I dreaded the waste of  "time".  Monique in her own way made Ruben and I talk, as if we were talking to her, but these were stories she already knew. Monique wanted us to hear each other.  It worked, Ruben actually thawed out, I really enjoyed hearing his stories and he actually enjoyed hearing mine.

I then Facebooked Ruben, and although he lives in California and there are 2 time zones between us, we have had very authentic, funny and memorable chats.  Ruben single handedly showed me that first impressions are just that, a first impression.

Homos are a HANDFUL

Yes!  I know that sounds dirty, it was meant to sound that way.  Homos are funny people, partly because we had to be quick witted to scare off the jocks, and all those that were a threat.  Also as Mark would say, "it keeps the stupid people away".  Homos are warm and inviting friends because we have felt the rejection of others, and would not wish that rejection on others, well except those with; bad shoes, women with mullets wearing flannel and dry weddings.

People that are what I call "Homophilic", homo-loving/accepting, feel that their "homos" are immune to life tragedies and especially life's judgement errors because they have already overcome what had to be the worst in life.  This is NOT true! My experience is that my sisters under the rainbow-not to be confused with the Rev Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition-are not any more immune to "bad judgement or self imposed tragedy/drama" than the next fraternity horrifically straight non showered beer belching jock.  I believe that HIV/AIDS made that incredibly obvious to all of us.  Whether you love or just know a homo, just know that they are prone and maybe even predisposed to life and all its tragic consequences. 

Just love your homo, they will love you back. Just be honest to your homo, they will return the favor.  Don't expect more from your homo than you expect from your favorite horrifically straight person, that way you will never be disappointed and homos will always surprise you, just ask Liza Minnelli.

" With a little help from my friends"

The following are some of the things I have learned "with a little help from my friends";

Mark - "Read between the lines"--he means to hear what is not being said.

Tom - "The lady thou protest too strongly"--along with giving me the book Blink to read.

Janet - "Just be nice, patient and things get better", amazingly she lives this way every day.

Audrey - "You don't have to leave your children everything, others  have greater needs."

Handry - "Physical beauty is only 1 of 10 criteria to be a beautiful person."

David - " A "No" in business just means "not yes today".

Dan - "Everyone can offer you something to grow on and being yourself makes it easier to know who your friends are"

Richard - "Don't feel sorry for yourself, live your life and the good people will follow."

Dick - "People come into and out of money, and so do friends in your life."

James and Ashley - "Do what you want for others, but don't expect anything back."

Homos are a HOOT!

Neil Patrick Harris, NPH aka Doogie Houser MD, is a HOOT.  First of all, his current show, "How I Met Your Mother" is really good, I hope it's in its last season (if you watch it you know why).  NPH plays the role of "Barney Stetson" a manwhore, there I said it.  He is brilliant in adding humor and credibility to the role of a homosexual playing a hetrosexual with hormones raging.

Last Sunday at the 82nd Academy Awards, NPH performed an engaging and funny number. In  his number, he sings, "Why does a prisoner drop his soap? Because no one wants to do it alone.".  All in reference to his hosting in the past but having to do it alone.  He was really funny when he sang, " the best pair since Dolly Parton".  See homosexuals are really funny because they do not care what people think.  The journey thru one's own sexual orientation even with the most wonderfully supportive parents is the emotional equivalent of marching barefoot thru waist high crunchy peanut butter.  With that in mind, you can see why we (us homosexuals) are funny, caustic and sweet.  We are funny because when you are genuine, honest and comfortable in your own skin. One is caustic when the hurt real, perceived, self inflicted or inflicted by others is too much to overcome.  Another theory of mine is that the conversation or circumstances resurrects the hurt. In order to exorcise the hurt--caustic comments bubble up.  The sweetness comes from our empathy for women. Why?  After being taunted, ridiculed and being dumped by and on by hetrosexual men, we love our gal pals.

When a homosexual is being funny, listen to the story, listen to the emotions, listen to the delivery.  You are getting a rich, insightful, and genuine insight laden commentary.  Don't let the humor fool you, homos are a hoot.  Oh yeah, but don't cross one, they can see in the dark.