"Is there a guest list I could review?", asked Romeo.

"Is there a guest list I could review?", that is what my former friend asked.  This person after being invited to our home for brunch, an invitation he solicited, asked if there was an Evite he could see.  I admit I was confused as to why he thought there was an Evite at all. My partner Mark was vocal and on point when I read him the text, as was my insightful and vertically challenged friend Dan Lias.  Dan interupted me told me where the story was going and how it would end with uncanny accuracy. Dan explained that Romeo was like Larry Bird, yes the basketball player.  Larry Bird said, in an interview years ago, that when on the court he constantly thought where the ball should be in 2-3 passes. Dan explained to me that Romeo was the gay man version of Larry Bird on the court of gay courtship.  Romeo just wanted to be invited so he could attempt to get the ball (excuse the pund) passed to him and hopefully score with Mr. Right  and/or Mr. RightNow.

Romeo after soliciting and obtaining the invitation, he confirmed his attendance, asked if he could bring something and confirmed that he would bring it. Romeo after requesting a guest list to look over and me not giving him one (it was brunch with 9 people in totality) there was no list to give and he would not know any of the other  6 guests.  Mark was very vocal, "What? A guest list? Who does he think he is Oprah? And I'd like to point out, he is not all that!".  Well Romeo did not attend the brunch, he never called, texted or emailed. Dan assures me that had I given him the names, Romeo would have Facebook=ed my friends to see if they met his standards or would peak his interest.   I guess not being able to visualize the pass caused him to pass on the brunch.

Well I can visualize the next pass now, I shall pass him along to another player.

Enough with the scruffy look! Enough already!

Here in Chicago most of the guys run around with what I call the scruffy face look.  Look, I understand you cannot shave everyday, but not for 3-5 days during the work week? Really?  So I want to be very specific as to who I think can carry off the scruffy face look.  Please note that you might not know everyone, but be assured that these guys can carry it off.

Scruffy Face is allowed on;
1.  Tom Ford--if you do not know him, please do not read my blog
2.  Zach Hayes--Manager of Todd Hase at the Merchandise Mart and my good friend
3.  Evan Lysacek--Vancover 2010 Gold Medal winner and the only male figure skater to make it look masculine
4.  Bradley Cooper--of the movie "Hangover" fame, and soon to be Mr. Renee Zellweger and  Zach Hayes (2) look alike
5.  Nate Berkus--Oprah and Gayle's boy toy, this pains me to admit
6. Adam Levine--lead singer for Maroon5, granted he would look great in a burlap burka
7. The hot guy in scrubs at my gym, who I refer to as Dr. McScruffy

I reserve the right to add or even delete (yes you Nate) men as I think of them or if they are nominated by people I like, respect and desire to include them in my blog.  To all those other everyone else please cop a shave especially if you are going to work.

The following white and Latino men cannot carry off the Scruffy face look, please stop doing it and just freaking shave;

1. Tom Cruise
2. Mark Anthony
3. Leonardo DiCaprio
4. Phillip Seymor Hoffman
5. Michael Buble
6. Brad Pitt
7. Emilio Estevez
8. James Garrido

ASingle Man, Produced, Adapted for Screen and Directed by Tom Ford

Tom Ford is a genius, there I said it.  I hope he is happy too.  This movie; A Single Man is magnificient and will stand the test of time in many categories it is a CLASSIC.  I highly encourage you to see it.  If you don't like it I will give you back your money, just send the ticket stub to me.  Please don't get anything to eat or drink you don't want to miss a thing.  The movie is 1 hours 39 minutes and it will appear to be slow until the end sneeks up on you.  The movie is not slow, it is rich, the visual images are layed one on top of the other like a fashion photoshoot. Tom Ford may not have held the camera but his fingerprints are all over the lens.

A Single Man is adapted for the screen by Tom Ford, produced by Tom Ford and directed by Tom Ford.  All of these are his debute, the same Texan who was a football player, model and Creative Director for Gucci. Clearly he knows his stuff!  Did I mention he is a Texan?  He is my proof that people can reinvent themselves and yes a leopard can change his spots (if the spots want to change).  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1315981/

The cast is solid; Colin Firth (who looks amazing, eventhough he is British), Julianne Moore (who always looks amazing) Michael Goode and Nicholas Hoult (more on him later).  The movie is about an English professor, Colin Firth,  in Los Angeles during the Cuban Missile Crisis that tries to go on with his day after the sudden death of his partner, Michael Goode.  The best friend Charly (no I spell it with an "ie") is brilliantly played by Julianne Moore. The protanogist, Kenny played by Nicholas Hoult keeps things interesting to say the least. 

I read that Tom Ford spoke to Colin Firth about this role, and told him and I am paraphazing, " You are a gorgeous man, but you would look better if you lost 25pounds". And Tom Ford was right, Coling Firth has never looked or been better.  Apparently Julianne Moore and Tom Ford are besties, and I can see why.
The new kid on the block is Nicholas Hoult, and he is going places.  First of all the camera loves him.  He is as solid an actor as he could be as a model.

A poem, Richard Cory by Edwin Arlington Robinson

My good friend Tom Hofstetter sent me this poem after reading my last post.  As always, Tom is on point and continues to prove to be the best read person I know.

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich—yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.


Thank you Tommy for sharing this!

Happy counts, and it counts for a lot!

This week Alexander McQueen, a 40 year old British design SUPERSTAR killed himself. The tragedy of living without him has just started for his family,  and friends.  Then for those who he inspired and  affected,  like my dear friend Handry Martinez Velasco, the tremendous void of talent and mentorship has just revealed itself. 

I have always known what I am about to write, but it amazes me that not everyone seems to know this. Why I have known this is unclear to me, the knowledge has just been instinctual.  Maybe it was because I was so unhappy as a child and young adult, maybe I am just smart in this way. 

I have always wished upon one star, the star of Happiness.  I know that if you are happy, really happy, success does not matter and by success I mean  the accolades and  million dollar bonuses.  If you are happy, really happy, health is secondary.  Yes of course success and health are great to have but they do not trump happiness.  I do not pretend to know why Mr. McQueen took his life, I just know he was not happy. I know he was successful, and filthy rich.  Happiness eluded  him whether real or perceived, organic or situational, happiness eluded him and he took his own life.

For all my friends I wish them happiness first and foremost, then good health and then success.  I wish for my children which struggle with the typical young adolescent issues, happiness first. After they are really happy, all else will come in good moderation, in stride and when they are ready to recieve it.

Sometimes you have to meet the other person halfway.

This morning a wise man  said something that stuck with me like a big bowl of oatmeal.  He said, "Charlie, sometimes people just have to meet halfway".  "Brilliant!", I thought to myself.  But Tom Hofstetter is a whole more brilliant than he is dim.

During our journey thru life with friends, spouses, life partners (if getting married is illegal) and CHILDREN people just have to meet halfway when the relationship is strained.   I have decided that halfway is 2 stomach flips or twists.  I find that the first stomach twist is to let you know you have started to head in the right direction down the halfway ramp.  The second stomach twist will serve you even better. Initially to confirm that you  are still  headed in the right direction and  then to give you "self amnesty".  That feeling that you have done all you could do, and you did enough to feel the discomfort.

Just because you come halfway, it does not mean that the other person will either meet you halfway or that the person is going to accept your overture or efforts.  The key here is for you to feel that you did everything you could do, and your stomach twists, turns or flips is proof that you did that very thing.  People are human, and humans are not perfect.  I like thinking I did all I could do, then a bit more, that makes me feel comfortable and at peace. If the relationship mends, I promise you will feel greater satisfaciton because you went the  extra stomach twist.