Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Anderson Cooper does a 360 and becomes Geraldo Rivera
Anderson Cooper who Kathy Griffin is fond of saying, "Covered Katrina in Prada" is now in Haiti and probably in Crocs. The Hottie McJournalist Cooper is without a doubt an accomplished journalist. I was just watching his show this evening, AC 360, and I was shocked at what I heard. Cooper said and I qoute, "Security concerns are overblown" as it relates to securing the envoys of supplies from the airport to the points of service. I am taken out that this hard working, successful journalist would think it is within his purview to over-reach and put in doubt the judgemnet of the professionals. I guess being a successful journalist, heir and most famous closeted gay man allows you to make these calls. Oh, if I was only an heir, I too could be as bold.
Monday, January 18, 2010
God's Work--No Lloyd Blankfein, CEO Goldman Sachs, NOT YOU!
Mr. Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs was qouted just a month ago saying he was just doing God's work as a banker and hence deserving his $43,000,000 for 2009 (no that was not a typo). I would like to say to this BLOW HARD and ARROGANT ASS that he does not do God's work. The great works attributed to God is done everyday by good people who will never see $4,000,000 or $400,000 in all their lives.
The US troops, the Search and Rescue teams, the firefighters, the medical teams, and yes even the religious organizations, these selfless tireless and incredibly talented people are doing God's work. I am not a religious nor spiritual man but these people, NOT Lloyd Blankfein, inspire me, and make me want to do better for my family, friends and those that have less fortunate than me. God's hand is not seen in the disaster or the preventing of the disaster, God's hand is seen in the faces of the people who at great personal risk give of themselves for those less fortunate without a thought for themselves.
The US troops, the Search and Rescue teams, the firefighters, the medical teams, and yes even the religious organizations, these selfless tireless and incredibly talented people are doing God's work. I am not a religious nor spiritual man but these people, NOT Lloyd Blankfein, inspire me, and make me want to do better for my family, friends and those that have less fortunate than me. God's hand is not seen in the disaster or the preventing of the disaster, God's hand is seen in the faces of the people who at great personal risk give of themselves for those less fortunate without a thought for themselves.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
"With a little help from my friends"
I have a very good friend from work, "friend from work" that never usually happens to me. This name is Tom and he is funny, sincere, brutally honest and the smartest man I have ever met. I remember the first time we actually spoke other than office pleasantries. He said to me, "That Hillary Clinton is Satan I tell you" to which I snapped, "Well then that makes me a devil worshiper". We have been good friends ever since. He is the 2nd most supportive and encouraging person in my life and I love him dearly. Being ever so helpful, this is his contribution to my blog;
If we're going to be inundated with the minutia of your daily life you are going to need some express way to communicate. Here are a few shortcuts to get you started:
ICMSTMO!
I cut myself shaving this morning - Ouch!
NTSWAOOPT
Note to self - we're almost out of paper towels
HHHHIOTWIG
Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go
You know, stuff like that. I'll be happy to help (HTH).
LOLWAOT
Keeping in line with his spirit, TTFN !
If we're going to be inundated with the minutia of your daily life you are going to need some express way to communicate. Here are a few shortcuts to get you started:
ICMSTMO!
I cut myself shaving this morning - Ouch!
NTSWAOOPT
Note to self - we're almost out of paper towels
HHHHIOTWIG
Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go
You know, stuff like that. I'll be happy to help (HTH).
LOLWAOT
Keeping in line with his spirit, TTFN !
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Honesty Can Buy You Happiness
Honesty can buy you happiness in the short term and the long term. Almost 20 years ago, I had a client called Mr. S. He was an old bitter rude man. Just writing about this reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. "What's 82,105 and 12? The answer is that they are the measurements of the perfect man; 82 years old, running a 105degree fever and has $12Million in the bank". Mr. S was 1 out of three, he had about $12Million dollars in the a brokerage account which I managed. Mr. S was outrageous in his demands, he was unreasonable, rude and all in all a most horrible human being. Although he was aware that I was a struggling father with 2 children and my then wife/mother of my children (whose name I will never mention) had just quit working, he would make me buy him lunch. Mr. S was worth over $12Million in cash and he would make me buy him lunch. At lunch he would order as if he was Chris Farley and John Candy on some binge eating escapade after coming out of some drug induced coma. Please note I said, "order" and not "eat", because he would not eat, he would have it wrapped and take it home with him. During lunch I heard all about his sexual conquests (yuck!) and the issues with his prostate (yuck yuck!!).
One day he asked me to pick him up and take him to the bank. He had to square away some papers that were in his safety deposit box. I took him to the bank and he insisted I go with him to the safety box reception area. Once there, he insisted I go with him to get his safety deposit box and since it was the biggest safety deposit box I had ever seen, of course I had to carry it to a private room. In this room he opened it and hundreds of $100 bills sprung out. We proceeded to organize them to count. He made it clear to me that he was unsure how much he had, and that no one in his family knew what he had, as he did not trust them. Once all the bills were organized and ready to count he excused himself to go to the bathroom, I will never forget his words translated; " This fucking prostate is going to make me pee myself", and with that he was gone. I was alone with so much cash I got nervous.
I thought to myself, well now what happens if he comes back and thinks he should have more money? I knew I could not prove I did not steal the money. So I then thought WTF, I should take some, he will never ever know, and he will never be able to prove it. I thought about this so much that I even thought I would hide the money I would steal between my foot and my sock. Certainly no one would ever see it, I was sure. I proceeded to count the money, it came to $92,000 or $97,000, I cannot remember. I was sure I could take $3,000 what the heck I could take $30,000 and he would never be the wiser.
I was so conflicted, he does not need the money I thought. I would certainly repay him, I said to myself.
Then a moment of clarity came upon me. Stealing this man's money, even a nickel was dishonest and once you are dishonest you are dishonest forever. I resolved then and there that I would never take a dime from anyone, regardless how mean or undeserving they were of their good fortune. I would not taint myself with dishonesty.
Mr. S returned to the private room after what seemed to be an hour or so, but it was probably 15 minutes. He asked in gruff voice, "How much money is there young man?". I told him the exact amount something like "$93,000", I said. He smiled a very big smile and told me to put the money in the box, "pronto" he barked. He insisted that we go to one of the most expensive Mexican restaurants in Dallas. This time he paid for lunch. He then gave me $20 for gas, and as he got out of the car he told me that he liked me because he knew I was honest. Did he know all along? I was certain he did not know how much cash he had.
From that day until he died, he became a delightful man to work with. He bought from then on, any and all the bonds I would offer him. The most remarkable part is that he would ask every time about my kids, always insisting that I did not have enough pictures and threatened to buy me a camera. I spoke to him one day and he started making fun of my Spanish and told me that he would teach me more conversational Spanish. The next day Mr. S pass away in his sleep. I know my honesty made me happy and I think my honesty made him happy also.
One day he asked me to pick him up and take him to the bank. He had to square away some papers that were in his safety deposit box. I took him to the bank and he insisted I go with him to the safety box reception area. Once there, he insisted I go with him to get his safety deposit box and since it was the biggest safety deposit box I had ever seen, of course I had to carry it to a private room. In this room he opened it and hundreds of $100 bills sprung out. We proceeded to organize them to count. He made it clear to me that he was unsure how much he had, and that no one in his family knew what he had, as he did not trust them. Once all the bills were organized and ready to count he excused himself to go to the bathroom, I will never forget his words translated; " This fucking prostate is going to make me pee myself", and with that he was gone. I was alone with so much cash I got nervous.
I thought to myself, well now what happens if he comes back and thinks he should have more money? I knew I could not prove I did not steal the money. So I then thought WTF, I should take some, he will never ever know, and he will never be able to prove it. I thought about this so much that I even thought I would hide the money I would steal between my foot and my sock. Certainly no one would ever see it, I was sure. I proceeded to count the money, it came to $92,000 or $97,000, I cannot remember. I was sure I could take $3,000 what the heck I could take $30,000 and he would never be the wiser.
I was so conflicted, he does not need the money I thought. I would certainly repay him, I said to myself.
Then a moment of clarity came upon me. Stealing this man's money, even a nickel was dishonest and once you are dishonest you are dishonest forever. I resolved then and there that I would never take a dime from anyone, regardless how mean or undeserving they were of their good fortune. I would not taint myself with dishonesty.
Mr. S returned to the private room after what seemed to be an hour or so, but it was probably 15 minutes. He asked in gruff voice, "How much money is there young man?". I told him the exact amount something like "$93,000", I said. He smiled a very big smile and told me to put the money in the box, "pronto" he barked. He insisted that we go to one of the most expensive Mexican restaurants in Dallas. This time he paid for lunch. He then gave me $20 for gas, and as he got out of the car he told me that he liked me because he knew I was honest. Did he know all along? I was certain he did not know how much cash he had.
From that day until he died, he became a delightful man to work with. He bought from then on, any and all the bonds I would offer him. The most remarkable part is that he would ask every time about my kids, always insisting that I did not have enough pictures and threatened to buy me a camera. I spoke to him one day and he started making fun of my Spanish and told me that he would teach me more conversational Spanish. The next day Mr. S pass away in his sleep. I know my honesty made me happy and I think my honesty made him happy also.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Friends vs. Judges
Friends don't judge and Judges aren't friends. I was reminded of that statement tonight when after a long day at IKEA my friend Zach said, "No judgements tonight, not a single judgement, agreed?" as we sat down at Sweet Tomatoes for an all you can eat suburban buffet. Zach was right, friends do not judge. We as friends may not approve or perhaps know better, but friends do not judge friends.
In my years of being a "super friend" as Ben calls me, I can state without hesitation that I am honest, sincere, loyal and non-judgemental. Be clear non-judgemental does not mean I approve, it means I am still your friend, and when the situation blows up (as bad situations often do) I will be there to comfort my friend and I never say, "I told you so". Oh, there are exceptions for sure, breaking the law, hurting people and animals are never tolerated, but my friends do not partake in those activites. I don't know what I would do if they did, but I know they have not until now.
The man of my dreams, Mark, introduced me to the "Idaho 5000" concept early in our relationship. He had at the time 5 friends he called his Idaho 5000. Mark told me that these 5 people in his life, he could call or they could call him and all they had to say was; "I am stranded in Idaho and I need $5,000" and he would get them the money, "no questions asked", he said. Unconditional friendship, WOW! In a conditional world that is quite a leap of faith for friendship everywhere.
Then there is Grant, a great guy, a good friend. Grant had a tough summer, thanks to a bad break-up and to say the least. I stood by him no matter what came. Grant was the first friend I saw experience what I call the Tsunami of emotions. I heard all there was to hear, I heard it over and over again. Then one day, I needed to talk something out. Let's say Grant had an adverse reaction to the change in roles and our telephone conversation did not end well. I clearly in the wrong, defriended him on my FB account and we sent each other some tart texts and emails. This New Year's day after having no contact for almost 4 months, he sent me a text wishing me a great 2010. Grant followed that text up with a communication to Mark offering to help us move--Friends do not help friends move--but that is another post. I realized about a week later that enough was enough and that Grant was a great guy and a good friend, and "I" deserved him in my life. How lucky was I that he reached out to me on two separate occasions. I could not wait any longer. I reached out to him and we agreed to meet at Starbucks (where else?) Oh, I guess it took about 20 minutes max and we were laughing at each other, but more importantly laughing at others. Friends do take leave of absences, those breaks they can be very invigorating and serve to make the friendship stronger. But if you don't miss the friend, don't reach out, or don't reach back if they reach out to you.
In my years of being a "super friend" as Ben calls me, I can state without hesitation that I am honest, sincere, loyal and non-judgemental. Be clear non-judgemental does not mean I approve, it means I am still your friend, and when the situation blows up (as bad situations often do) I will be there to comfort my friend and I never say, "I told you so". Oh, there are exceptions for sure, breaking the law, hurting people and animals are never tolerated, but my friends do not partake in those activites. I don't know what I would do if they did, but I know they have not until now.
The man of my dreams, Mark, introduced me to the "Idaho 5000" concept early in our relationship. He had at the time 5 friends he called his Idaho 5000. Mark told me that these 5 people in his life, he could call or they could call him and all they had to say was; "I am stranded in Idaho and I need $5,000" and he would get them the money, "no questions asked", he said. Unconditional friendship, WOW! In a conditional world that is quite a leap of faith for friendship everywhere.
Then there is Grant, a great guy, a good friend. Grant had a tough summer, thanks to a bad break-up and to say the least. I stood by him no matter what came. Grant was the first friend I saw experience what I call the Tsunami of emotions. I heard all there was to hear, I heard it over and over again. Then one day, I needed to talk something out. Let's say Grant had an adverse reaction to the change in roles and our telephone conversation did not end well. I clearly in the wrong, defriended him on my FB account and we sent each other some tart texts and emails. This New Year's day after having no contact for almost 4 months, he sent me a text wishing me a great 2010. Grant followed that text up with a communication to Mark offering to help us move--Friends do not help friends move--but that is another post. I realized about a week later that enough was enough and that Grant was a great guy and a good friend, and "I" deserved him in my life. How lucky was I that he reached out to me on two separate occasions. I could not wait any longer. I reached out to him and we agreed to meet at Starbucks (where else?) Oh, I guess it took about 20 minutes max and we were laughing at each other, but more importantly laughing at others. Friends do take leave of absences, those breaks they can be very invigorating and serve to make the friendship stronger. But if you don't miss the friend, don't reach out, or don't reach back if they reach out to you.
The Beginning
Welcome to my first entry, well into my blog I have made entrances before. You can relax, this blog will not contain nudity, especially mine. This is a blog of my experiences and my knowledge thru my journey as; the son of a hysterically Cuban couple and my brother their only child, the grandson of a grandmother that was more of an Auntie Mame, a straight frat boy, a nearly incompetent Chemical Engineer, devoted suburban husband and father of two, sexually conflicted urban divorced man, a product of successful gay single father of two with full physical and legal custody, recovering both as a Roman Catholic and Republican, devoted domestic partner and financial advisor to 125 great families living in the greatest city, Chicago!
As I blog, as religiously as possible, I hope you will enjoy my humor and learn from my experiences and wisdom, none of which was without pain or cost. As an added bonus, maybe my son and daughter one day can benefit from my advice without having to ask. My domestic partner will always know my great love for him, and how he helped change my world and heal my heart. My friends will know how much I value and love them, whether I approve of their choices or they disapprove of mine. We have an agreement, never say, "I told you so".
As I blog, as religiously as possible, I hope you will enjoy my humor and learn from my experiences and wisdom, none of which was without pain or cost. As an added bonus, maybe my son and daughter one day can benefit from my advice without having to ask. My domestic partner will always know my great love for him, and how he helped change my world and heal my heart. My friends will know how much I value and love them, whether I approve of their choices or they disapprove of mine. We have an agreement, never say, "I told you so".
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