Honesty Can Buy You Happiness

Honesty can buy you happiness in the short term and the long term. Almost 20 years ago, I had a client called Mr. S.  He was an old bitter rude man.  Just writing about this reminds me of one of my favorite jokes. "What's 82,105 and 12?  The answer is that they are the measurements of the perfect man; 82 years old, running a 105degree fever and has $12Million in the bank".  Mr. S was 1 out of three, he had about $12Million dollars in the a brokerage account which I managed. Mr. S was outrageous in his demands, he was unreasonable, rude and all in all a most horrible human being.  Although he was aware that I was a struggling father with 2 children and my then wife/mother of my children (whose name I will never mention) had just quit working, he would make me buy him lunch. Mr. S was worth over $12Million in cash and he would make me buy him lunch.  At lunch he would order as if he was Chris Farley and John Candy on some binge eating escapade after coming out of some drug induced coma.  Please note I said, "order"  and not "eat", because he would not eat, he would have it wrapped and take it home with him.  During lunch I heard all about his sexual conquests (yuck!) and the issues with his prostate (yuck yuck!!).

One day he asked me to pick him up and take him to the bank. He had to square away some papers that were in his safety deposit box.  I took him to the bank and he insisted I go with him to the safety box reception area. Once there, he insisted I go with him to get his safety deposit box and since it was the biggest safety deposit box I had ever seen, of course I had to carry it to a private room.  In this room he opened it and hundreds of $100 bills sprung out.  We proceeded to organize them to count.  He made it clear to me that he was unsure how much he had, and that no one in his family knew what he had, as he did not trust them.  Once all the bills were organized and ready to count he excused himself to go to the bathroom, I will never forget his words translated; " This fucking prostate is going to make me pee myself", and with that he was gone.  I was alone with so much cash I got nervous. 

I thought to myself, well now what happens if he comes back and thinks he should have more money?  I knew I could not prove I did not steal the money.  So I then thought WTF, I should take some, he will never ever know, and he will never be able to prove it.  I thought about this so much that I even thought I would hide the money I would steal between my foot and my sock.  Certainly no one would ever see it, I was sure. I proceeded to count the money, it came to $92,000 or $97,000, I cannot remember.   I was sure I could take $3,000 what the heck I could take $30,000 and he would never be the wiser. 

I was so conflicted, he does not need the money I thought.  I would certainly repay him, I said to myself.
Then a moment of clarity came upon me.  Stealing this man's money, even a nickel was dishonest and once you are dishonest you are dishonest forever.  I resolved then and there that I would never take a dime from anyone, regardless how mean or undeserving they were of their good fortune.  I would not taint myself with dishonesty. 

Mr. S returned to the private room after what seemed to be an hour or so, but it was probably 15 minutes.  He asked in gruff voice, "How much money is there young man?".  I told him the exact amount something like "$93,000", I said.  He smiled a very big smile and told me to put the money in the box, "pronto" he barked.  He insisted that we go to one of the most expensive Mexican restaurants in Dallas.  This time he paid for lunch. He then gave me $20 for gas, and as he got out of the car he told me that he liked me because he knew I was honest.  Did he know all along? I was certain he did not know how much cash he had.

From that day until he died, he became a delightful man to work with.  He bought from then on, any and all the bonds I would offer him. The most remarkable part is that he would ask every time about my kids, always insisting that I did not have enough pictures and threatened to buy me a camera.  I spoke to him one day and he started making fun of my Spanish and told me that he would teach me more conversational Spanish.  The next day Mr. S pass away in his sleep. I know my honesty made me happy and I think my honesty made him happy also.