First Impressions are only the first impression!

"You only get one chance to make a good impression", fair enough of a comment, but really doesn't mean much.  I have a new friend Ruben. We met thru a mutual friend and the gigantic personality of Monique, not the black Oscar winning Mo'nique, this Monique is the  Latina Comedy Diva and very funny and insightful friend.  I was in Monique's hotel room when Ruben came in to join us for dinner.  We had a glass of wine before we left for dinner. I thought Ruben was the gay man's answer to Nicole Kidman.  I found him to be stiff, pretentious, and standoff-ish, a complete and unadulterated blow hard was my initial diagnosis.   My response? Like you do to warts, to freeze  him out.  I know you don't think Cubans can issue a deep freeze but trust me this Cuban can drop temperatures faster than liquid Nitrogen.

The next day, Monique asked me to join her and Ruben for coffee at the hotel terrace.  I dreaded the waste of  "time".  Monique in her own way made Ruben and I talk, as if we were talking to her, but these were stories she already knew. Monique wanted us to hear each other.  It worked, Ruben actually thawed out, I really enjoyed hearing his stories and he actually enjoyed hearing mine.

I then Facebooked Ruben, and although he lives in California and there are 2 time zones between us, we have had very authentic, funny and memorable chats.  Ruben single handedly showed me that first impressions are just that, a first impression.

Homos are a HANDFUL

Yes!  I know that sounds dirty, it was meant to sound that way.  Homos are funny people, partly because we had to be quick witted to scare off the jocks, and all those that were a threat.  Also as Mark would say, "it keeps the stupid people away".  Homos are warm and inviting friends because we have felt the rejection of others, and would not wish that rejection on others, well except those with; bad shoes, women with mullets wearing flannel and dry weddings.

People that are what I call "Homophilic", homo-loving/accepting, feel that their "homos" are immune to life tragedies and especially life's judgement errors because they have already overcome what had to be the worst in life.  This is NOT true! My experience is that my sisters under the rainbow-not to be confused with the Rev Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition-are not any more immune to "bad judgement or self imposed tragedy/drama" than the next fraternity horrifically straight non showered beer belching jock.  I believe that HIV/AIDS made that incredibly obvious to all of us.  Whether you love or just know a homo, just know that they are prone and maybe even predisposed to life and all its tragic consequences. 

Just love your homo, they will love you back. Just be honest to your homo, they will return the favor.  Don't expect more from your homo than you expect from your favorite horrifically straight person, that way you will never be disappointed and homos will always surprise you, just ask Liza Minnelli.

" With a little help from my friends"

The following are some of the things I have learned "with a little help from my friends";

Mark - "Read between the lines"--he means to hear what is not being said.

Tom - "The lady thou protest too strongly"--along with giving me the book Blink to read.

Janet - "Just be nice, patient and things get better", amazingly she lives this way every day.

Audrey - "You don't have to leave your children everything, others  have greater needs."

Handry - "Physical beauty is only 1 of 10 criteria to be a beautiful person."

David - " A "No" in business just means "not yes today".

Dan - "Everyone can offer you something to grow on and being yourself makes it easier to know who your friends are"

Richard - "Don't feel sorry for yourself, live your life and the good people will follow."

Dick - "People come into and out of money, and so do friends in your life."

James and Ashley - "Do what you want for others, but don't expect anything back."

Homos are a HOOT!

Neil Patrick Harris, NPH aka Doogie Houser MD, is a HOOT.  First of all, his current show, "How I Met Your Mother" is really good, I hope it's in its last season (if you watch it you know why).  NPH plays the role of "Barney Stetson" a manwhore, there I said it.  He is brilliant in adding humor and credibility to the role of a homosexual playing a hetrosexual with hormones raging.

Last Sunday at the 82nd Academy Awards, NPH performed an engaging and funny number. In  his number, he sings, "Why does a prisoner drop his soap? Because no one wants to do it alone.".  All in reference to his hosting in the past but having to do it alone.  He was really funny when he sang, " the best pair since Dolly Parton".  See homosexuals are really funny because they do not care what people think.  The journey thru one's own sexual orientation even with the most wonderfully supportive parents is the emotional equivalent of marching barefoot thru waist high crunchy peanut butter.  With that in mind, you can see why we (us homosexuals) are funny, caustic and sweet.  We are funny because when you are genuine, honest and comfortable in your own skin. One is caustic when the hurt real, perceived, self inflicted or inflicted by others is too much to overcome.  Another theory of mine is that the conversation or circumstances resurrects the hurt. In order to exorcise the hurt--caustic comments bubble up.  The sweetness comes from our empathy for women. Why?  After being taunted, ridiculed and being dumped by and on by hetrosexual men, we love our gal pals.

When a homosexual is being funny, listen to the story, listen to the emotions, listen to the delivery.  You are getting a rich, insightful, and genuine insight laden commentary.  Don't let the humor fool you, homos are a hoot.  Oh yeah, but don't cross one, they can see in the dark. 

"Is there a guest list I could review?", asked Romeo.

"Is there a guest list I could review?", that is what my former friend asked.  This person after being invited to our home for brunch, an invitation he solicited, asked if there was an Evite he could see.  I admit I was confused as to why he thought there was an Evite at all. My partner Mark was vocal and on point when I read him the text, as was my insightful and vertically challenged friend Dan Lias.  Dan interupted me told me where the story was going and how it would end with uncanny accuracy. Dan explained that Romeo was like Larry Bird, yes the basketball player.  Larry Bird said, in an interview years ago, that when on the court he constantly thought where the ball should be in 2-3 passes. Dan explained to me that Romeo was the gay man version of Larry Bird on the court of gay courtship.  Romeo just wanted to be invited so he could attempt to get the ball (excuse the pund) passed to him and hopefully score with Mr. Right  and/or Mr. RightNow.

Romeo after soliciting and obtaining the invitation, he confirmed his attendance, asked if he could bring something and confirmed that he would bring it. Romeo after requesting a guest list to look over and me not giving him one (it was brunch with 9 people in totality) there was no list to give and he would not know any of the other  6 guests.  Mark was very vocal, "What? A guest list? Who does he think he is Oprah? And I'd like to point out, he is not all that!".  Well Romeo did not attend the brunch, he never called, texted or emailed. Dan assures me that had I given him the names, Romeo would have Facebook=ed my friends to see if they met his standards or would peak his interest.   I guess not being able to visualize the pass caused him to pass on the brunch.

Well I can visualize the next pass now, I shall pass him along to another player.

Enough with the scruffy look! Enough already!

Here in Chicago most of the guys run around with what I call the scruffy face look.  Look, I understand you cannot shave everyday, but not for 3-5 days during the work week? Really?  So I want to be very specific as to who I think can carry off the scruffy face look.  Please note that you might not know everyone, but be assured that these guys can carry it off.

Scruffy Face is allowed on;
1.  Tom Ford--if you do not know him, please do not read my blog
2.  Zach Hayes--Manager of Todd Hase at the Merchandise Mart and my good friend
3.  Evan Lysacek--Vancover 2010 Gold Medal winner and the only male figure skater to make it look masculine
4.  Bradley Cooper--of the movie "Hangover" fame, and soon to be Mr. Renee Zellweger and  Zach Hayes (2) look alike
5.  Nate Berkus--Oprah and Gayle's boy toy, this pains me to admit
6. Adam Levine--lead singer for Maroon5, granted he would look great in a burlap burka
7. The hot guy in scrubs at my gym, who I refer to as Dr. McScruffy

I reserve the right to add or even delete (yes you Nate) men as I think of them or if they are nominated by people I like, respect and desire to include them in my blog.  To all those other everyone else please cop a shave especially if you are going to work.

The following white and Latino men cannot carry off the Scruffy face look, please stop doing it and just freaking shave;

1. Tom Cruise
2. Mark Anthony
3. Leonardo DiCaprio
4. Phillip Seymor Hoffman
5. Michael Buble
6. Brad Pitt
7. Emilio Estevez
8. James Garrido

ASingle Man, Produced, Adapted for Screen and Directed by Tom Ford

Tom Ford is a genius, there I said it.  I hope he is happy too.  This movie; A Single Man is magnificient and will stand the test of time in many categories it is a CLASSIC.  I highly encourage you to see it.  If you don't like it I will give you back your money, just send the ticket stub to me.  Please don't get anything to eat or drink you don't want to miss a thing.  The movie is 1 hours 39 minutes and it will appear to be slow until the end sneeks up on you.  The movie is not slow, it is rich, the visual images are layed one on top of the other like a fashion photoshoot. Tom Ford may not have held the camera but his fingerprints are all over the lens.

A Single Man is adapted for the screen by Tom Ford, produced by Tom Ford and directed by Tom Ford.  All of these are his debute, the same Texan who was a football player, model and Creative Director for Gucci. Clearly he knows his stuff!  Did I mention he is a Texan?  He is my proof that people can reinvent themselves and yes a leopard can change his spots (if the spots want to change).  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1315981/

The cast is solid; Colin Firth (who looks amazing, eventhough he is British), Julianne Moore (who always looks amazing) Michael Goode and Nicholas Hoult (more on him later).  The movie is about an English professor, Colin Firth,  in Los Angeles during the Cuban Missile Crisis that tries to go on with his day after the sudden death of his partner, Michael Goode.  The best friend Charly (no I spell it with an "ie") is brilliantly played by Julianne Moore. The protanogist, Kenny played by Nicholas Hoult keeps things interesting to say the least. 

I read that Tom Ford spoke to Colin Firth about this role, and told him and I am paraphazing, " You are a gorgeous man, but you would look better if you lost 25pounds". And Tom Ford was right, Coling Firth has never looked or been better.  Apparently Julianne Moore and Tom Ford are besties, and I can see why.
The new kid on the block is Nicholas Hoult, and he is going places.  First of all the camera loves him.  He is as solid an actor as he could be as a model.